fuck bitches. get money. fuck niggas. get money.

words to live by.

Junior M.A.F.I.A. knew what they were talkin' about

fuck everything.

if it don't got shit to do with your paper,

why are u concerned?

if we all lived like this

life wouldn't be as interesting

but it would be a lot easier

and a lot less annoying.

most of us have found a good balance between

caring about ourselves and caring about others.

we care about some, but put ourselves 1st most of the time.

but some of us are too damn concerned about what the next bitch is doing

and not paying attention to what's goin' on with ourselves.

our downfall.

#kanyeshrug

no sense in talking about it

cuz this don't have nothing to do wit my money.

gettin' money

-sage.BLAIZE

BLOWN

never the type to let anger get the best of me.

has someone ever lied to you and when you confront them

they deny it?

[dumb question]

it sucks when you know for a fact this person is lying

and they are truly trying to convince you otherwise.

idk whether i should be upset or feel sorry

but right now, im pissed by default.

twitter will expose us all.

if u have nothing to be exposed then ur fine

but if u do

i have seen 2 twitter uproars thus far

honestly, i dont even think ur important enough to have a twitter uproar in your favor.

that may be a good thing

but i just hope ur boyfriend doesn't have a twitter, for your sake.

everything happens in due time.

even if you get away with murder

no day will past where ur dirty deed wont haunt you

like when u here his ringtone,

or when he buys you cartier frames -_-

#bronin bitches

off this

-sage.blaize

Colo-FUCKIN-rado

i am too annoyed that i will be here for 22 more days.

im tired of seeing wild animals

im tired of dirt roads

im tired of swag-less people

im tired of everyone wearing clothes from target

im tired of white and mexican people

im tired of having nowhere to go

im tired of not having friends here

im tired of having a fun house with no one to play with

IM JUST TIRED OF LIVING HERE

get me the fuck out.

thanks- sage.blaize

so sublime.

what's up with the subliminal #headshots?

i love howard university, but the people blow mine!

wtf is the point of a subliminal?

i, for one, will never feel any type of way from a subliminal mainly because no cone said shyt to me.

how can i feel an type of way to a general statement.

my mom gave birth to me by myself, not to everyone that follows you

when we alllll decide to grow up, hit me up

cuz as of right now, all immature sublime bitches can suck my dick

-fuckit.

Can I Tell You a Secret?

NO ONE APPRECIATES THIRST!

it may intrigue a guy for a while

but you can't turn a hoe into a housewife.

no one wants to marry a hoe

grow the fuck up little girls

Wanna know how to find and keep a dude?

[one] look on point at all times [they ARE guys]

[two] be approachable but not desperate

[three] talk to them as if they are any other person; not your savior

[four] be yourself... can't base a relationship on what your aren't

all in all... you cannot "trap" a man with only looks

you'll have him in the beginning but what is gonna keep him there when the prettier bitch comes?

and no matter how much of a barbie, a five star, or a pretty miss you are... there is a prettier bitch somewhere

oh an by the way...

if you present yourself in a way that only your body matters

all niggas are gonna care about is your body

and after they get your body

fuck they want wit you after?

GET A CLUE BITCHES, DAMN

-sage.BLAIZE[angrily]OUT

i have something to say

today is a special day... 3 posts in 24 hours?

ok but this is what i have to say.

I WILL BE LETTING THINGS HAPPEN ON THEIR OWN

no trying to make it happen

sporadic lust is always better then planned lust

less room for disappointment when you didn't have an expectation

emergency blog

why can't people be upfront with their feelings?

why do insecure people think everything negative is about them?

why don't people realize you had a life before college?

why don't people realize those that do the most get the least?

why can't we all just act our age?

why isn't Nicki Minaj my best friend?

why must we lie?

sage.BLAIZEout

gold hot shorts;tube bra;short freak 'em dress

i think i'm too passive.

i'll know EXACTLY what to do and let someone else have it.

good thing i'm in college

college brings about changes.

anyway;

last night was the ITIS party at Station 9 in D.C.

one word; POPPIN

two words: poppin bull

three words; Wtf?

good? music, people, view

bad? MASE smh

moving on

so basically i'm at a point where i;m trying to change the way i think

innovation is the key to success you kno

no one can move on with old ideas; baggage; crushes

so;

i gotta tell you.

i miss living in NY.

i never worried about getting robbed in good ol' queens

everybody go they own shyt there

in DC, they smell the NY on my breath

and nobody likes [HOT] breath

also i need somebody to boo love with, no strings, no feelings, no nothing... just a ... somebody

this college shyt is rough without that cuddle time

but at a school that 98.9% puss... that becomes a lil hard to find a dude that hasn't found a cutty buddy

whatelsedoihavetosay?

nothing. everything else is irrelevant.

sage.blaize.out

fuckin up

WHERE HAVE I BEEN HIDING?

sheesh-ington i haven't been on this thing in 2 and a half months

i gotta tell you, i am having the BEST time at Howard University.

so much has changed since my last post so lemme enlighten you nosey strangers.

[one] i LOVE nicki minaj.

[two] i dont fucks wit the HoChi or the Dandy's

[three] i see failure in my future [jk:jk]

[four] fights;disagreements;trips home; missing mommy; log cabin in aspen; other fuckery.

[five] raunchiest females on campus

[six] funniest girls at Howard =D

confused? GREAT

i'll explain after this chemistry test

the [thirsty]

its such a sad sight.

when someone feels that in order to be "cool" [for a serious lack of a better word]

they need to do so much.

like get a beverage... your thirst isn't attractive.

pink and purple nails.

so i painted my nails pink and purple. i LOVE it! they are super random and wonderful.

why does it continue to rain?

its the most annoying rain ever... its mad hot and unattractive and ugh.

i swear the only reason i love howard is that they have a yard for me to chill on until all hours of the night!

yes i'm sleep deprived but who cares lol

oh yea. no wifin in the club, gimme $20

chillin in the green chair

my green chair is awesome!

its the most comfy awesome chair EVER.

anyway... i wanna blast some music but i dont wanna be an annoying music blasting roommate.

So its super hot in DC; especially on Baldwin 4th!

SHEEEEEESH as gucci girl amanda would say.

I'm def feelin some type of way.

I may have forgotten to mention my new haircut in earlier posts, but yea i no longer have hair.

its a cool cut butttt i want my hair back and its bugging me that i dont have it...

anyway... i dont feel like venturing out to the bookstore but i see that blue awning in my future. ugh.

well for now i will be nosey via facebook in my comfy green chair

sage.BLAIZE out

doubledutchontheyard.

YES! double dutch on the yard!

we jumped the yard! lmao

so fun with the gucci girls and the others that decided to join in.

why is everyone boo-loving on this campus?

like deadass... no wifin on the yard, gimme $20

def no wifin on the [booty]wall gimme $30... [$10 surcharge for the prohibited location]

anyway HoChi mix is hits the SPOT after a good game of double dutch on the yard my nigga! i never drank something so fast!

mad short post butttt

gotta wake up at 5 to go to the A building for a fin. aid ticket.

niggas think they willy wonka with the golden tickets smh

sageblaize;gucci girl out

HU (U KNO); AWW YEAH (Q-U-A-D); COAS; NY;QUEENS; GUCCI GIRLS.

i have NO voice. i haven't had a voice since i been here.

where's here?

Howard University; the REAL HU.

Why don't I have a voice?

Because i have been reppin my city, college, dorm, and university since i've been here.

Gotta love HU....

Mad new experiences since i moved in on he glorious 8/14/09.

[one] so i partied 4 out of 6 nights last week [freshman week]... clubs, house parties, frat parties.

i have concluded that i rather house party then club... clubbing involves old geezers.

[two] iLOVE mambo sauce... its 1 part sweet-n-sour sauce, 2 parts honey, and 6-8 ounces of CRACK.

[three] weed+Ashley= madddd sleepiness and non attentiveness

[four] Gucci Mane makes my itunes happy

[five] blowdrying your hair in Baldwin will knock your power out.

So my new homies and I are the Gucci Girlz because we loveeeee Gucci Mane.

inorder to be a Gucci Girl u cannot own anything gucci. lmao

Gucci Girls!

jeNee the hyper one

amanda the delerious one

cassandra the sleepy one

ariel the country one

brandi the crazy one

ashley the mismatched one

those my niggas!!!!

ok i have class in the AM sooo ima shut up for now.... i'll be back though... WATCH OUT

lol jk jk jk

a [dash] of change for a baller[ado]

WHERE THE FUCK DO I START BITCHEZ?

its been almost 3 months since i have updated u guys on my life.

let's start at the beginning.

DASH!

Yea that's the guy i wasn't sure about in may.... well i guess that answers that question.

We have hard our ups and downs but overall... a wonderful relationship. we aren't together anymore due to college and something else i will ell you about later..... but it was an awesome 2 months.... dont worry all you 'suckers for love,' there is ALWAYS a possibility for us to be dashing once more.... maybe even forever.

Summer '09 will go down in history as the most bipolar summer EVER.

If you were to check the IP address this post was sent from... it would be that of my new laptop.

[happy]

If you were to check the wifi i'm currently using, the router lives in Pueblo, Colorado. My MOM's new home.

That's right kiddos, I no longer live in New York.

[sad]

I'm going to college in 9 days

[happy]

I'm in FUCKING COLORADO 9 days before I go to college.

[PEEVED]

idk how to even explain to you why i'm in colorado.

short and sweet?

she[beingmymom] wants/needs to move and nobody cares what i think.

fuck it my casa is FLY... but that doesn't change where the hell its located.

whatever.fuckit.imissny.

oooooo btw i made a twitter. twitter.com/ash_sageblaize

i sit in colorado.... weeping[notreally] about how much fun i could be having, how many trains i could be taking, how many blunts i could be smoking, how many dudes i could be fucking[pause], or w/e else i could do just cuz im in NY.

w/e this post is making me sad lol

oh bt im lgal and i got a huge tattoo to prove it... pic will be in a later post.... hopefully i will post again before i get to HU

peace and love....

sage.BLAIZE

sodashing.

Boy oh Boy.
Sooo Many new things.

firstly, dashing is the bennifer of Daniel and Ashley.

so if you haven't guessed it by now, yes my prom date and I are together and have been for a little over a month.

i know. uber surprising.

prom was fun.

we looked awesome!

cootie epidemic.

FUXCKswineflu. its been all about cooties lately

I have a prom.date[and he put all his boy-cooties on me].

Cool dude; kinda short, but i can deal.

The first time i ever really spoke to this guy, the convo ended in us making out [confessions of a party girl]

As i got to know him, though, i have grown to appreciate his company.

He walks me to classes, hangs out with me during frees, waits for me during musical rehearsal, likes holding my hand: do YOU see what I see coming in the future?

TERROR.

i, honest to blog, would not mind having him as a boo thing since we boo love[lol] BUT the timing is soo off.

24 school days left

3 NYC months left

-- saying yes would be pointless

BUT saying no can be detrimental to the rest of my senior year and my prom night.

awkwardness, angst, turmoil, agony,despair, and other such words.

Hopefully he sees things the way i do, so he won't bother asking.

But if he does, hopefully i'll think of an answer that will leave us both satisfied.

ALL.ASH.KNOWS is that she will NOT step foot on the HOWARD UNIVERSITY CAMPUS... with a BOO-THING at BING-BING.

on a whole new note

My first best-male friend Geoffy is the ish.

He will def def be my homie for life at HU. no dudes will fuck wit me lol

i'm in the dancing mood, lemme shake my booty real quick.

--SAGE.sage.BLAIZE.

Beautiful Dirty Rich

Download that.

So much to say.

1stly, so sorry i haven't been here everyday! ish is hard.

ok so mad new ish goin on

I gotta tell u later...

while u wait, down load Christmas tree by lady gaga... its mad cool 

my heart actually raced when you signed on.

WTF!


I really can't believe how excited I got when he signed on. I actually gasped.

He screws me over daily yet I still love him. Yea I admit it, I love him.

Fucking rediculous.

I was talking and he wasn't responding. He sends his phone number and signs off. And just to be mysterious, he doesn't answer.

I really wish he didn't do this to me. I can't take the minor heart attacks.

All bad things can't wait to begin

Today was good.

I was smiling which is new for me.

I am more excited than ever to go to college.

May have met my roommate.

May have met my new best friend.

I honestly couldn't care less about the next four months of my life... OD meaningless


As my title says... all bad thing can't wait to begin... or keep going

Though my buttons keep being pushed... i remain calm.


I'm so glad i'm going to HOWARDu!

fuck hampton

HU fam is live!

like a child thats lost at 7.

Song representing my mood: "Walked Out of Heaven"-Jagged Edge

I'm mad lonely. madmadmad lonely.
It's getting warmer, and when it's warm, I always feel like I need a summer love.

"I can't wait to fall in love with you
You can't wait to fall in love with me"

I'm in the mood for a serious relationship. Like realll serious one. One that won't end because of a lil cheating or one fight. A marriage type deal.

Problems:
1. The boyfriend store is closed due to the recession.
2. 4months til I'm gone
3. Too busy to pee, much more worry about a boyfriend.

Solutions:
1. Leave your [2cents] below cuz I'm drawing a blank.

Sometimes I wish you could google solutions to life's issues. Like I could type in "why am I feeling sucky"? And it would give me a wiki page with the answer and a solution.

I've been so bad in the boy department lately that I even let my one male best friend go.

I gotta fix this. Brb.

-sage.BLAIZE

love; the crooked way, college; the boring way, competing; the Q-U-A-D way.

i, honest to blog, think that heterosexual love is so frivolous.

the "gays" got it down. there relationships seem so real to me.

maybe its because they are more in tune with each other's needs; 

on another note

my future is fast [slow] approaching.

fast in that; its ONLY 4 months away:: so much planning!

slow in that its 4 MONTHS away!:: so much waiting

college seems less like a fantasy and more like a reality as the days move forward.

instead of thinking about the fun i'm going to have,

i'm thinking about what needs to be done before i get there.

the "boring part " of the college process, after the application process, but before actual classes.

stillthereis EXCITEMENT.

on the last note

my predecessors[hopefully], the 08-09 quad girls did a fantastic job during the resfest at howard.

they didn't win the competition [BOO annex], but they won my respect and love.

those girls were dedicated and had a finesse-filled swag unlike any others.

madfly.madfly. [ily stassi X]

-sage.BLAIZE

making this a shower type thing

Let's see if I can make a post daily...

So as for today, I purchased some very expensive pants and I am seriously regretting it... Kinda.

I hate drama soo much and sometimes I wish I could be open about how I'm feeling with EVERYONE. Life would be so much easier, if we didn't have to worry about how someone else might feel, what problems you may start, whose life may constantly SUCK afterward. Trust, I know the truth hurts, but when I hear it, the process of getting over it is so much faster.

Something I am also noticing about myself; I make compromises that end up with me feeling exactly the same as I did before. There are times when I make it my mission to change the relationship I have with someone and when I confront them, I leave the table with a lot less than my cards were worth. I'll take whatever they're willing to give me just to end the awkwardness of bringing up the "taboo" and the "dirty laundry." Let's do like Power 105 and put it on blast.

I want to make a vow, to always be completely truthful, (in the nicest way, of course) to stop putting up with certain things just to keep the peace; fuck the peace. I want people to be able to say "Ash always let's me know what's on her mind, she always speaks the truth."

The boys aren't gonna stop playing their game if you don't call them out on their fouls and techs... Its up to us to be the refs.

-SAGE.blaize.

it's my life, and i believe it dont affect nobody else but me

I had a fun thing, then I didn't. I "have" a best friend,but I don't want him. I want someone to be my own and I feel like he's hiding behind a great excuse. Maybe I'm not his type, maybe he really doesn't wanna screw his friend over: that ship has sailed anyway.
I noticed that he's something like a womanizer. Gives every girl their week until he gets what he wants (or the most he can get) and moves to the next. Kinda like a train; next stop, 125th girl. Boy do you feel special when he's at your stop. But soon enough he starts running express and passes right by your local stop.
I told myself I wouldn't fall for that charm, the smile, and those dimples, but come on, I'm 17, meaning hormonal and horny smh.
If you can't be with me alone, then we can't do the "only if we're exclusive" stuff. Your friend 400 miles away can't be your only excuse. And if he is, call me when you're are older than your shoe size.
So, with that being said, I'm ending it before it can even get too deep. Sooo tired of the immaturity, the hiding, the fronting, and the faking.
And the worst part about it is that they will always be immature...

... and this is just the beginning.

I thought graduating would bring new beginnings and close doors that had broken locks, hendering them from staying shut. I realized today, though, that my LARGEST problems were following me to college. Am I peeved? Uh YES! Do I fret? Nope. I have found a new strength within my being that enables me to cut people off when need be. I've recently been trying it out and I must say that I am much happier. No need to deal with attitude or permanent PMS.

Not Early Decision, more like Rolling

I wanted to send in my enrollment fee for a while but something has been holding me back.I checked out the course catalog, the campus, and the dorms; though I loved it, something wasn't right. I felt like the school didn't care about me as a person; like I was just another female from new york. I tried my best to convince myself that this was the school for me, because it was "poppin and fun" but I knew deep down it wasn't. I knew the school didn't "really" want me. The school had other things to worry about such as other students and finances and I was just takin up their
time. Even when I called for information, I got no answer. So I've decided to reconsider sending my enrollment fee. There are too many schools for me to accept the first one that "feels" right. Besides who likes a boy that calls them "shawty" anyway?

im not sure if im getting what im not sure i want

Confused? Good, 'cuz I am too. I really and truly thought Chamzzz would be out of my life; who was I kidding?
There are times when I'm sure I'm ready to let him go:: even though he was never truly in my grip. But there are other times when I... When I feel like forgetting about Howard so I can stay in New York with him. YES! It's THAT serious.
I really really wish I could be sure about what we are... Or aren't.
He cut his hair off... Made him even better looking... Didn't help me let him go.
Got locked up for a night... Made me want to be his savior. [Stupid female intuition to save males]
Has a little BABY GIRL! Annoyed me, until I saw how much he cared about lil miss Laila and I fell even deeper.

No matter how tough he acts I know that he's a little softie inside and he let me in on that side once and it was so... Interesting.

Idk if I can deal with the uncertainty of a bad-ass "boyfriend" though. Can't really call him that but hey w/e.

I'm gonna figure this out. By tuesday I should have made up my mind, if not, I give up.

BTW howard was AWESOME!

"cool" crowd.

As I sit at home waiting for time to pass, I begin to think.

Thinking about myself, that is. 

Vane? maybe, Conceit? possibly, self-centered? who cares?

I looked back at my life; the past threeandahalf years in particular and realized something incredible.

I was NEVER a part of the "cool" crowd.

As far as Bronx science goes, its extremely hard to decipher which of the 1,273 crowds is THE cool crowd. 

Depending on who you ask, you are liable to get 1,479 answers. 

But what I have noticed is that within those 1,587 crowds there are like a google of sub crowds; or cliques if you will.

I used to believe that the clique I am supposedly apart of was one of the cooler cliques for reasons that are far too elaborate for this blog. 

Unfortunately, I am beginning to notice that my clique isn't cool because of our personality, swag, or finesse, we are "cool" because we are feared.

How did I come up with this? let's take a walk down memory lane.

In middle school, I was cool with the cool crowd but  kept my distance because of their drama. The cool crowd wasn't as much feared as they were admired and loved. They had the cool clothes, the cool friends, and the cool life. They were happy, funny people that could sh*t on you and still make you laugh.[in MY opinion] 

In High school, I am down with the cool clique in my crowd, but as I ventured out of the crowd and met people from other crowds, I noticed I was feared. People that I formally met for the first time would say "Wow I thought you were so mean" or "Omg you are so nice, idk why I thought you would beat me up"

...WHAT?

With those somewhat painful statements, I decided to change my life, as far as friends were concerned. I broadened my horizons and made it my mission to make new friends so that people could get to know the REAL me. 

In my opinion, my clique is "cool" for intimidation, not for personality. SO NOT COOL.

And honestly, I never did feel like I was truly a part of my clique. I  sometimes felt like a visitor or an outsider looking in. My personality allows me to mask these feelings but I knew all along that things would change, and when they did, they would be drastic. 

These changes are fast approaching like the 6 train and have NO MERCY. When they get here, brace yourself, it is bound to be a packed train, letting a lot of people off but only having room for a few to get on. Next Stop: New Life.

BTW: HOWARD WEEKEND!!

never reminisce.

every now and a again i go through the archive of my high school experience aka my facebook photos.

they are a nice/funny/sad/why? reminder of how much fun i've had these past 3andahalf years.

this time was different though.

i REALLY looked at certain photographs today;; as if i had Stassi's specs on [=D]

here are some of my faves for no particular reason besides them being cool-looking:::

the problem with reminiscing is when you come across pics such as

or this

these kinds of pics[pics with exes] are awful because they show the good times and not the cry-your-eyes-out times. not that i cried my eyes out.

if you're anything like me, you start thinking about what was happening when that photo was taken and how you felt then.

those ugly thoughts then lead to other fun, not-photographed fun times. And those nasty thoughts then lead to "I don't even think we really needed to break up" or "I really miss him"

REPULSIVE.

Then you start to think about why you broke up/ why things changed.

You then go to the facebook page of the main reason to make sure they aren't having fun [aka no fun photos]

If they are having fun, or worse, if they have fun wall posts from your ex, OR even worse, if they are having fun WITH your ex, your blood boils.

If they aren't having fun, you feel satisfied and may think something along the lines of "That's what you get bxtch"

then there are pics like

that make you extremely happy that you have the friends you do.

but you don't need to reminisce about that because you always have those cool cats around.

all-in-all; don't reminisce, leave old photos in the past and focus on taking new ones that you can look back on in two weeks and say "Gosh, I miss him"

she.wants.to.lead.the.[GLAMOROUS].life.

Currently listening to "Glamorous  Life" by Eden's.Crush. which happens to be one of my favorite songs.

I know all the lyrics but this is the first time I ever [listened] to the song.

"Boys with small talk, and small minds, really don't impress me in bed" <3

Ain't it the truth?

I must say that even though I think some of the lyrics are too clever for this decade, [probably because they aren't from this decade] the overall message of the song doesn't appeal to me at all.

It basically says that a girl that wants a glamorous life can never enjoy it without someone to love and share it with.

Ummm;; maybe when you're thirty.

Some lyrics that bugged me:

"She said I need a man's man baby, diamonds and pearls

Love will only conquer my head"

I know that material possessions aren't everything but what is wrong with a girl that knows what she wants? 

Of course the 3 S's are necessary [sexy, sensitive, stupid] but what's wrong with adding a fourth [stacked]?

"She's got big thoughts, big dreams, and a big brown mercedes sedan

All I think this girl, all she really wants, is to be in love with a man."

If she's happy with her material ish why does she need a man to share it with?

It is just a song; but music is an expression on society's psyche put to a catchy tune.

Do we honestly think that love is the answer to every question, the solution to every problem, and the cosine of every angle? 

What a cliche, 1950's thought.

Love is like authentic Italian pasta. Hard to find, Great to have, Makes you sick after a while.

I might be a cynic, a pessimist or a prophet; but honestly "love," w/e that is, is unsightly and annoying; at least to this 17 year old girl with a grudge and a frappucino. 

To all those in love, hit me up, leave a comment, send a telegram/smoke signal, just let me know  what love is and why you choose to torture yourself.

on a lighter, happier note; let the HU:2013 countdown begin 8 months and a couple weeks [that will be more precise when i figure out when I'm moving in lol]

oops i almost forgot... have a happy healthy and super fun 2009.